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Early's Trucker Hats

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Since the very beginning, Early Cuyler has worn different hats in almost every episode, usually representing a feeling he has.

Early

LISTEdit

This is a brief list of the lines/images that are found on Early Cuyler's trucker hats.  

  • "Too Funk to Druck"
    TooFunkToDrunk

    Too Funk To Drunk

    ILoveCockFighting

    I Heart Cock fighting

  • "Free Hat Limit 1"
  • "World's Greatest Illegitimate Daddy"
  • "May I Help You, My Child?" - Seen on a combination pope/trucker hat, when Early still had his job at Mattress Christ.
  • "Breathe If You're Horny"
  • "Here's The Beef"
  • "I Love Cock Fighting" - Has the word "Fighting" appearing much smaller than the other three. Seen in School Days, Fool Days.
  • "Groom"
  • "Remember 9-111 - Irregular"
  • "This Ain't A Hat, It's A Rag Top For A Sex Convertible"
  • "Goal Bandit"
  • "Booty Hunter"
  • "Booby Hunter" - On child Early.
  • "David Allan CEO Live In Macon" - Worn when Earley became CEO of Dan Halen Industries, a reference to outlaw country singer/songwriter David Allan Coe 
  • "GLUG" - The name of a blindness-inducing alcohol created by Early and brewed by Dan Halen.
    DavidAllenCEO

    David Allen CEO Live At Macon

  • A squid drawn in the shape of the Pontiac Firebird logo
  • A stylized American Flag with a bald eagle's head superimposed seen in Chalky Trouble.
  • Four aces drawn such that the ace of diamonds is on top and the rest (clubs, hearts, then spades) are fanned behind it.
  • A camouflage hat with a buck (male deer) with scribbled résumé to obtain employment at Dan Halen Sheetrock International. Halen mentions that the section under experience, Early has listed that he can "skin a buck, run a trout–line, and all my rowdy friends are coming over tonight." Which are references to two Hank Williams Jr. songs; however, the actual lyrics to "A Country Boy Can Survive" are, "I can skin a buck and run a trotline."
  • "Support Our Troops" - American flag design with a yellow ribbon. After struck by lightning it reads "Support Our oops."
  • "Sonny LIED!!!" - Written on a Confederate battle flag design. A motto from opponents of Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue, who won office in 2002 partly from a promise to have a "St. Andrews Cross" of the Confederate Battle Flag as a choice on the flag referendum . He adopted a less controversial design based on the more obscure first national flag of the Confederacy.
  • "Tricky Two" - Written on a gold hat underneath a hand making the peace sign.
  • "God's Good Buddy" - Written underneath a semi truck with a cross on it driving out of the heavens seen during a Squidbillies bump and Giant Foam Dickhat Trouble.
  • "Swayze Crazy" - Written in red lettering on a pink hat with Patrick Swayze flexing right arm seen on an Adult Swim website ad.
  • "John Beer" - Parody of John Deere with the logo shown as a silhouette of a drunken anthropomorphic deer sprawled out among beer cans.
  • A bill connected to a donkey with a (censored) obscene protrusion of a penis that offends everyone including Squid Jesus.
  • "I ANT WON JAK A LOT FROM THE SQUATTERY THE LOTTERYS SHOULD BE THE JACK SQUATTERY CAUSE I AYNT JACK SQUATTING A LOT Y THEY SHOULD RENAME THE LOTTERY TO THE JACK SQUATTERY CAUSE THAT'S ALL I EVER WIN IN IT!!!!!" - Written in pen by Early and presented to Dan Halen as an idea for a novelty hat.
  • "Damn I'm Good"
  • "Do It To It" - Catchphrase of Plumber Bubba in the Bubba Trubba episode.
  • "Hooked On Jesus" -An Ichthys caught on a fishing hook.
  • "Hooked on Darwin" - A Darwin fish caught on a fishing hook.
  • "I'm Going Nuckin Futz!!"
  • A larger Ichthys labeled "Truth", eating a smaller Darwin fish with "Dar" undevoured. 
  • A big beast labeled "Science" devouring a smaller beast labeled "Faith" with "ith" still visible.
  • The word "Faith" slaying, with an arrow, a big beast labeled "Science".
  • A spaceship labeled "China" abducting the word "Faith"
  • Two wolves, in a forest at night, with an American flag waving behind the howling wolf while the other sits proudly.
  • "I love Daddy" - Part of a 1980's style computer printout transfer-picture of Rusty.
  • "Gynaecologist Saturday Nights Only" - In Terminus Trouble, during his trial, Early says he owns this but it's not been seen.
  • "Best Nightmare" - Seen in a picture drawn by Thom Foolery on the WebCam
  • "I Support the Flattax Cause I'm FLAT BROKE!"
  • "Taste Daytona!"
  • "Bodywork by Wanda"
  • "Shoot First - Ask Questions NEVER!"
  • "Too Cool For YOU!!"
  • "Damn Bald Eagles - Ft McPherson, GA"
  • "Lifeguard on Booty"
  • "Born to DIE!"
  • "No Habla Jibber Jabber!"
  • "LAUGH SO I CAN SEE 'EM BOUNCE" - O and U in BOUNCE are shaped like large breast in a bra or bikini top.
  • "Do something with your life, TAKE OFF YOUR TOP!"
  • "This Hat Contains Minimum 80% Post-Consumer Recycled Hats"
  • "Guns don't kill people, I do!" - Has a bloody target sign replaces the O in do.
  • "The Fine ol' solution" - Early's "good solution" to remove the Mexicans; a parody of the Nazi genocidal 'solution' for the Jews.
  • "Emergency? Dial .357!!!"
  • "Why are your Boobies staring at my Eyes?"
  • "You gotta rock out with your Jock out, Daytona 86"
  • "I'm Did Asbestos I CAN" - Made intirely out of asbestos and poorly translated from Chinese.
  • "VPILF" - Has a picture of Sarah Palin.
  • "Vote Yes! to Re-Legalize Midget Tossing!"
  • "WARNING: (super small print)-> if you can read this, then you better be sitting on my FACE."
  • "I've got a BLUE CHIP If you got a GREEN BACK!!!"
  • "Here hold my hat while i have sex with your wife!!!"
  • "Big Chests Scare Me"
  • "Honey, I'd suck the fart out of your CAR SEAT!"
  • "TITS for TOTS!" - Has a hand giving the middle finger.
  • "I'm a long haired spreadneck" - Another David Allan Coe reference
  • "Whiskey while you work"
  • "Cow-a-socky the hillbilly ride." - Graphic of a cow with a saddle and socks on
  • "T'aint one T'aint the other" - Graphic of a pink cat licking its tail and a brown star fish winking at the cat
    IMG 20130417 010617

    Nice legs! What time they open?

  • "NICE LEGS! WHAT TIME THEY OPEN?"
  • "Granite Caverns"
  • "Gone but not forgotten" - Has a picture of Ga Ga Pee Pap.
  • "America: Why I love Her" - On a camo hat.
  • "Going digital." - A furry looking creature giving the finger.
  • "Guns don't kill people. They only make it easy."
  • A crown
  • "Frack it"
  • Indian Casino crown, reading "THE ONE-ARMED CHICKASAW"
  • "God is my co-pilot. The devil is my wingman... Whose flying the plane?!!!"
  • Old Civil war hat
  • A parachute camo hat held together by a rope.
  • "If DarWin we Lose"
  • "I Like To Grab Butts!!" - Seen in episode two of season 7.
  • "I have beer Googles. When I drink, I know everything!" - "Googles" is in the color/icon scheme of Google.
  • "It's 5 o'clock somewhere but it's 4:20 here!"

TriviaEdit

  • The only episode in which Early does not wear a trucker hat, is in the Halloween episode where he is seen first briefly wearing a jack-o-lantern as a hat/costume, and then wearing the forehead of Frankenstein's monster and a banana suit for hunting.

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