Take This Job and Love It Season: 1 Episode: 2 Production code: 102 First Aired: October 23, 2005
Plot: When Rusty wants a grape popsicle for dinner instead of fried mud, Early tells him to get a job--then realizes he is "two days and six hours late for work." He arrives to work at Mattress Christ, a furniture store owned by the Reverend, and desperately tries make a sale to a couple, going so far as to slit a mattress and a waterbed with his knife. When that fails, he forces himself on the woman of the couple and is fired by the reverend he does not leave and, thus the Sheriff has to bring him down with a riot baton.
After the Sheriff reminds him of a possible parole violation--and realizing it's too late to have an abortion--Early goes out to get a new job, accompanied to each interview by the Sheriff. Nothing seems to fit, including brain surgery and rocket science, and winds up interviewing at Mattress Christ, where the Reverend has a restraining order. He's offered a job at a knife store, but declines in order to enter the world of adult literature--he doesn't get past typing an ampersand before smashing the typewriter with a cinder block.
Finally he goes with Dan Halen Sheetrock International, with the Sheriff partially eaten by Snakeman, and Halen gives him the position of CEO--all he has to do is show up, leave, and accept liability in any lawsuit. Halen also hired him to fill a "minority management quota," after the last squid--actually a man in a costume--fell into a vat and became "Zesty Ranch Baby Tacos." To celebrate, he goes to a strip club.